When women argue, especially an older woman with one that is younger than her it seems like the put downs are very much the same, looks, success and age. Did I mention age? This is an insult that I have always grappled with, not that the others are okay to use to put anyone down, but age. Can you fault someone for how old they are? For when they were placed on this planet? How long they have lived life? It baffles me that particularly among women that being old is meant to be a put down.
We have this warped sense of thinking that young is better, more beautiful, more fun and I do not think this is true. I envy the sense of maturity and wisdom older people have. Their ability to to know and understand themselves fully, speak and act with no regret and maneuver life with selfishness. All of this should not be used as an insult. Yes, we all know that aging causes you to lose the physical and mental capabilities that you had in your youth, but you also gain in several other aspects. And even if that does not impact how you vision age as an insult than this next sentence should.
Everyone ages, some can hide it better than others (with good genes) and if it is not natural some have the money to make it appear that they are slowing down the aging process, but eventually it happens to everyone. So basically, people poke fun at and dig at who they will eventually become. This makes so much sense huh?
I play with the extra skin on my grandmothers hands and find so much beauty in its history, in the fact that despite all that she has endured in life her skin is still so soft. I lay on my grandmothers warm and wrinkle filled body and it brings me joy that I even have the privilege of her continued presence. Because of her I am training my eye as I have done so much as I’ve gotten older, as I learn to dismantle so many different ideas of beauty that were thrown at me from birth. I am training my eye to not automatically associate wrinkles and someone who is aging with ugliness. I am training my eyes to not see a burden, but to see all people whether 35 or 95 sags, bags and wrinkles with a different lens.
I do not believe in putting an age limit to my fun and happiness, its almost as if people think life stops at 30. At 24 I believe my best years are ahead of me and not behind. Rethink using age as an insult, rethink equating age with ugliness, rethink all these notions that you were taught and think and teach yourselves to appreciate beauty in all shapes, sizes and ages.
No one should be attacked about something they have no control over.